I just realized there are eight more Doctors I've never seen. All in good time. No pun intended.
Second off, Jet's new album, Shaka Rock, is streaming on their Myspace page. I'm listening to it right now, it's very good. Go listen.
Third off, I'm trying a new format for Series 1, Episode 2. The last one was a lot of work, so I think I'm going to try transcribing the episode and commenting where I feel like it. More typing, most likely, but less thinking about what's worth mentioning. Stage directions are in italics. My coments are in bold.)
(Disclaimer: The following transcript isn't even remotely mine. I just typed it.)
Series/Episode: 1/2
Title: The End of the World
Writer: Russell T. Davies
The Doctor: Right then, Rose Tyler, you tell me. Where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time? It's your choice. What's it gonna be?
Rose: Forwards. (I prefer the backwards in time trips, myself.)
The Doctor: How far?
Rose: One hundred years.
The Doctor: There you go. Step outside those doors, it's the twenty-second century.
Rose: You're joking.
The Doctor: That's a bit boring, though. Do you want to go further?
Rose: Fine by me!
The Doctor: Ten thousand years in the future. Step out those doors, it's the year 12,005. New Roman Empire. (Look at him, all excited...) Rose: You think you're so impressive.
The Doctor: I am so impressive!
Rose: You wish!
The Doctor: Right then. You asked for it. I know exactly where to go....Hold on!
Rose: Where are we...?
Intercom: Shuttles five and six now docking. Guests are reminded that Platform 1 forbids the use of weapons, teleportation, and religion. (Ha ha!) Earth Death is scheduled for 15:39 followed by drinks in the Manchester Suite.
Rose: So when it says "guests," does that mean people?
The Doctor: Depends what you mean by "people."
Rose: I mean people. What do you mean? (Aliens?)
The Doctor: Aliens. (Aliens, indeed.)
Rose: What are they doing on board this space ship? What's it all for?
The Doctor: It's not really a space ship. More like an observation deck. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn.
Rose: What for?
The Doctor: Fun. Mind you, when I say the great and the good, what I mean is the rich.
Rose: But hold on, they did this once on Newsround Extra. The sun expanding, that takes hundreds of years.
The Doctor: Millions. But the planet's now the property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? Gravity satellites. Holding back the sun. (This strikes me as a little sick.)
Rose: The planet looks the same as ever. I thought the continents shifted and things.
The Doctor: They did. And the trust shifted them back. That's a Classic Earth. But, now the money's run out, nature takes over.
Rose: How long's it got?
The Doctor: About half an hour. Then the planet gets roasted!
Rose: Is that why we're here? I mean is...is that what you do? Jump in at the last minute and save the earth? (Pretty much.)
The Doctor: I'm not saving it.
Rose: But what about the people?
The Doctor: It's empty. They've all gone. All left!
Rose: Just me then.
Steward: Who the hell are you? (The timing on this was great!)
The Doctor: Oh, that's nice. thanks.
Steward: But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone! The guests have disembarked! They're on their way! Any second now-
The Doctor: Yeah, that's me, I'm a guest! Look! I've got an invitation! Look. There, you see? It's fine. You see? The Doctor, plus one. I'm the Doctor, this is Rose Tyler. She's my plus one. Is that alright?
Steward: Well. Obviously. Apologies. Et cetera. If you're on board, we better start. Enjoy.
The Doctor: The paper's slightly psychic. It shows them whatever I want them to see. Saves a lot of time. (I LOVE the psychic paper. I wish I had one.)
Rose: He's blue.
The Doctor: Yeah.
Rose. Okay.
Steward: We have in attendance The Doctor and Rose Tyler. Thank you! All staff to your positions. Hurry along! Thank you, thank you! Quick as you can! Come along, come along! And now might I introduce the next honored guest, representing the Forest of Cheem, we have Trees! Namely Jabe, Lute, and Copper. There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you could keep the room circulating, thank you! Next, from the solicitors Jalco and Jalco we have the Moxx of Balhoon. And next, from Financial Family 7, we have the Adherence of the Repeated Meme. The inventors of Hypo Sniff Travel Systems (or something), the Brothers Hopheileen (I had no clue on this one.)...Hal Sparkplug (I doubt very much this is what the real name is)...Mr. and Mrs. Peckham (Or maybe "Peck 'em!)...the Ambassadors from the city state of Binding Light...
Jabe: The gift of piece. I bring you a cutting of my grandfather.
The Doctor: Thank you! Yes, gifts, um...I give you in return...air from my lungs. (I just realized she's a tree. She probably welcomed the carbon dioxide.)
Jabe: How...intimate. (Ew!)
The Doctor: There's more where that came from. (What's going on here?!)
Jade: I bet there is. (Oh God!)
Steward: The sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe. (We find out some stuff about the Face later on in the series, but I found him fascinating from the get go. Why is he in a tank? Is he in liquid? Do Boe faces not have bodies? What are those tentacle things on the back of his head?)
The Doctor: The Moxx of Balhoon!
Mox: My felicitations upon this historical happenstance. I bring you the gift of bodily silivas.
The silivas hit Rose in the face. The Doctor thinks this is funny.
The Doctor: Thank you very much! The Appearance of the Repeated Meme. I give you air from my lungs. (They're not impressed.)
Repeated Meme: A gift of peace, in all good faith. (Not likely. They look like Dementors or Ringwraiths.)
Steward: And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and gentlemen and trees and multiforms, consider the earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth...the last...human. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien dot Delta 17.
Cassandra: (Holy crap she's a piece of skin with a face!) Oh, now, don't stare. I know, I know, it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away, and look at the difference! Look how thin I am. Thin and dainty! I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturize me, moisturize me....Truly, I am the last human. My father was a Texan. My mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the earth, and they were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honor them and say...goodbye! Oh, no tears! No tears. I'm sorry. But behold! I bring gifts! From Earth itself, the last remaining ostrich egg. Legend says it had a wing span of fifty feet, and blew fire from its nostrils. Or was that my third husband? Oh, no! Don't laugh. I'll get laughter lines! And here, another rarity. According to the archives, this was called an iPod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!
Steward: Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in twenty minutes.
Jabe: Doctor?
Repeated Meme: A gift of peace, in all good faith.
Steward: No, you're very kind, but I'm just the steward.
Repeated Meme: A gift of peace, in all good faith. (They are rather insistent.)
Steward: Oh, yes. Thank you. Of course.
Jabe: Identify species....Please identify species. Now stop it! Identify his race. Where's he from? ...it's impossible! (Oh. Not dirty after all.)
Rose: Sorry, am I not allowed to be in here?
Rose: Um...you have permission?
Rose: Hey...what's your name?
Rose: Raffalo?
Raffalo: Yes, miss. I won't be long. I've just got to carry out some maintenance. There's a tiny little glitch in the Face of Boe's suite. There must be something blocking the system. He's not getting any hot water. (He bathes?)
Rose: So you're a plumber. (I can hear Eddie Izzard's voice in my head going, "What on Earth is that?")
Raffalo: That's right, miss.
Rose: They still have plumbers. (Think before you speak, Rose.)
Raffalo: I hope so. Or else I'm out of a job. (Raffalo is adorable!)
Rose: Where are you from?
Raffalo: Krespalian.
Rose: That's a planet, isn't it?
Raffalo: No. Krespalian's part of the Jagga Brocade. (Maybe.) Affiliated to the Scarlet Junction. Complex 56. And where are you from, Miss? If you don't mind me asking.
Rose: No! Not at all. I'm...I dunno. A long way away. I just sort of hitched a lift with this man. I didn't even think about it. I don't even know who he is. He's a complete stranger....Anyway, don't let me keep you. Good luck with it.
Raffalo: Thank you, miss. And thank you for the permission. Not many people are that considerate.
Rose: Okay. See you later.
Raffalo: Now then...Control, I'm at Junction 19. I think the problem's coming from in here. I'll go inside and have a look....What's that? There something in there? A little spider thing crawls out. Who are you then? It scurries away. Hold on! If you're an upgrade, I just need to register you. That's all. Come back!...There you are. I just need to register your ident. Another one! There's two of ya! Got yourself a little mate....I think I better report this to Control....How many of you are there? What are you? No. No! NO! She's sucked into the vent.
Steward: What's that?...Well how should I know?...Would the owner of the blue box in Private Gallery 15 please report to the steward's office immediately. Guests are reminded that use of teleportation devices is strictly forbidden under Peace Treaty 5.4/cup/16. Thank you.
Intercom: Earth Death in twenty-five minutes. Earth Death in twenty-five minutes.
Rose is alone on the observation deck when she hears this announcement.
Rose: Oh thanks.... She picks up a little plant. Hello. My name's Rose. That's a type of plant. We might be related....I'm talking to a twig.
Little black Oompa Loopma things are moving the Tardis.
The Doctor: Oi, now. Careful with that. Park it properly. No scratches...Rose? Are you in there? What you think, then?
Rose: Great! Yeah. Fine. Once you get past the slightly psychic paper...They're just so alien. The aliens are so alien. You look at them, and they're alien.
The Doctor: Good thing I didn't take you to the deep south. (I assume he's talking about the American deep south. Good one!)
Rose: Where are you from?
The Doctor: All over the place. (Poor guy. He doesn't want to talk about it.) Rose: They all speak English.
The Doctor: No, you just hear English. It's a gift of the Tardis. The telepathic field. Gets inside your brain. Translates.
Rose: It's inside my brain?
The Doctor: Well, in a good way.
Rose: Your machine gets inside my head? It gets inside and it changes my mind and you didn't even ask?
The Doctor: I didn't think about it like that.
Rose: No, you were too busy thinking up cheap shots about the deep south! Who are you then, Doctor? What're you called? What sort of alien are you?
The Doctor: I'm just a doctor.
Rose: From what planet?
The Doctor: Well, it's not as if you'd know where it is!
Rose: Where are you from?
The Doctor: What does it matter?
Rose: Tell me who you are!
The Doctor: This is who I am! Right here, right now, alright? All that counts is here and now, and this is me!
Rose: Yeah, and I'm here too 'cause you brought me here, so just tell me! (No one said you had to go with him. Cut him some slack!)
Intercom:
Rose: Alright. As my mate Shireen says, don't argue with the designated driver. I can't exactly call for a taxi. There's no signal. We're out of range. Just a bit.
The Doctor: Tell you what. A little bit of jiggery pokery...He takes her phone and fixes it with the sonic screwdriver.
Rose: Is that a technical term, jiggery pokery?
The Doctor: Yeah, I came first in jiggery pokery. What about you?
Rose: Nah. I failed hullabaloo.
(Aw, playful banter!)
The Doctor: There you go.
Jackie: Hello?
Rose: Mum?
Jackie: Oh, what is it? What's wrong? What have I done now? Oh, this red tops falling to bits! You should get your money back. Go on. There must be something. You never phone in the middle of the day. What's so funny?
Rose: Nothing. You alright, though?
Jackie: Yeah, why wouldn't I be?
Rose: What day is it?
Jackie: Wednesday. All day. You got a hangover? Oh, tell you what, put a quid in that lottery syndicate. I'll pay you back later. (I get a kick out of Jackie.)
Rose: I was just calling 'cause...I might be late home.
Jackie: Is there something wrong?
Rose: No. I'm fine! Top of the world. (Bah-dum, ching!)
Jackie hangs up. (Apparently they don't say goodbye in the Tyler family.)
The Doctor: You think that's amazing, you ought to see the bill.
Rose: That was five billion years ago. So...she's dead now. Five billion years later, my mum's dead.
The Doctor: Bundle of laughs, you are....The platform shudders. That's not supposed to happen.
Steward: Well, what was it? I'm just getting green lights at this end. Honored guests may be reassured that gravity pockets cause slight turbulence. Thanking you. The whole place shook! I felt it. I've hosted all sorts of events on Platforms 1 through E6 and 15 and I've never felt the slightest tremor! I warn you, if this lot decide to sue...I'm going to scan the infrastructure....What's that? Control, I don't want to worry you, but I'm picking up readings...I have no idea! Well they're small. The scan says they're metal. I don't know what they look like! He sees a spider. Although I imagine they might look rather like that. You're not on the guest list. How did you get on board? No!
The spider steps on a button on the stewards keyboard. A sheet of something lowers itself within the steward's office, burning as it goes.
Intercom: Sun filter deactivated. Sun filter descending.
Steward: No! Sun filter up!
Intercom: External temperature four thousand degrees.
Steward: No! No no no! Control! Sun filter up! NO!
Moxx: Indubitably, this is the bad wolf scenario. (Didn't catch that the first three times around.) I find the uninhibited laxity of the...
The Doctor: That wasn't a gravity pocket. I know gravity pockets, and they don't feel like that. What do you think, Jabe? Listen to the engines. They've pitched up about thirty hertz. That budge you, or what?
Jabe: It's the sound of metal. It doesn't make any sense to me.
The Doctor: Where's the engine room?
Jabe: I don't know. But the maintenance duct's just behind our guest suite. I could show you. And your wife?
The Doctor: Oh, she's not my wife.
Jabe: Partner?
The Doctor: No.
Jabe: Concubine?
The Doctor: Nope!
Jabe: Prostitute? (Burn!)
Rose: Whatever I am, it must be invisible. D'you mind? Tell you what, you two go and pollinate. I'm gonna catch up with the family. Quick word with Michael Jackson. (She means Cassandra. Good one, Rose!)
The Doctor: Don't start a fight....I'm all yours. (The last part was directed at Jabe.)
Rose: And I want you home by midnight!
Intercom: Earth Death in fifteen minutes. Earth Death in fifteen minutes.
Jabe: There's just the steward. And the staff. All the rest is controlled by the metal mind. (The what?)
The Doctor: You mean the computer? (Oh.) Well who controls that?
Jabe: The Corporation. (Ominous!) They move Platform 1 from one artistic event to another.
The Doctor: But there's no one from the Corporation on board?
Jabe: They're not needed. This facility is purely automatic. It's the height of the alpha class. Nothing can go wrong. (Famous last words.)
The Doctor: Unsinkable.
Jabe: If you like. The nautical metaphor is appropriate.
The Doctor: You're telling me. I was on board another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. We ended up clinging to an iceberg. It wasn't half cold. (I believe this is British phrasing meaning "It was freaking cold!") So what you're saying is, if we get in trouble there's no one to help us out.
Jabe: I'm afraid not.
The Doctor: Fantastic.
Jabe: I don't understand. In what way is that fantastic? (Apparently Trees are not familiar with the concept of sarcasm.)
Cassandra: Soon the sun will blossom into a red giant. And my home will die. That's where I used to live, when I was a little boy, (I guess she really did have a lot of operations.) down there. Mummy and Daddy had a house built into the side of the Los Angeles Crevasse. Ah, I had such fun.
Rose: What happened to everyone else? The human race, where did it go?
Cassandra: They say mankind has touched every star in the sky.
Rose: So you're not the last human.
Cassandra: I am the last pure human. The others...mingled. Oh, they call themselves new humans and protohumans and digihumans and even humanish, but d'you know what I call them? Mongrels.
Rose: Right. And you stayed behind.
Cassandra: I kept myself pure. (I don't know how you guys feel, but I'm starting to think Cassandra might be a bit of a freak.)
Rose: How many operations have you had?
Cassandra: 708. Next week it's 709. I'm having my blood bleached. Is that why you wanted a word? You could be flatter. You've got a little bit of a chin poking out.
Rose: I'd rather die.
Cassandra: Oh, honestly, it doesn't hurt.
Rose: I mean it. I would rather die. It's better to die than live like you: a bitchy trampoline.
Cassandra: Oh, well. What do you know?
Rose: I was born on that planet! And so was my mum, and so was my dad, and that makes me officially the last human being in this room because...you're not human! You've had it all nipped and tucked and flattened til there's nothing left! Everything human got chucked in the bin. You're just skin, Cassandra! Lipstick and skin! Nice talking.
The Doctor: So tell me Jabe, what's a Tree like you doing in a place like this? (Real smooth, Doctor.)
Jabe: Respect for the earth.
The Doctor: Oh, come on. Everyone on this platform's worth zillions.
Jabe: Well, perhaps it's a case of having to be seen at the right occasions.
The Doctor: In case your share prices drop? I know you lot. Got massive forests everywhere, got roots everywhere, and there's always money in land.
Jabe: All the same, we respect the earth as family. It's many species evolved from that planet. Mankind is only one. I'm another. My ancestors were transplanted from the planet down below, and I'm a direct descendant of the tropical rain-forest.
The Doctor: Excuse me.
Jabe: And what about your ancestry, Doctor? (Here we go, backstory!) Perhaps you could tell a story or two. Perhaps a man only enjoys travel when there's nothing else left....I scanned you earlier. (I'll bet she did.) The metal machine had trouble identifying your species. It refused to admit your existence. And even when it named you I wouldn't believe it! But it was right. I know where you're from! Forgive me for intruding, but it's remarkable that you even exist! I just wanted to say how sorry I am.
The Doctor actually sheds a tear. (What the hell did all that mean?!) They enter a big warehouse-style room with huge, rotating fans.
The Doctor: Is it me, or is it a bit nippy?
Back at the fans...
Jabe: Is it part of the retro? (Ignorant tree...)
The Doctor: I don't think so. Hold on. He tries to stop it with the sonic screwdriver. Jabe shoots out a vine and catches it. Hey! Nice leanna! (This word is probably spelled wrong. I'd never heard it before.)
Jabe: Thank you. I'm not supposed to show them in public. (Holy innuendos, Batman!)
The Doctor: Don't worry, I won't tell anybody. Now then, who's been bringing the pets on board?
(The ringwraiths.)
Jabe: What does it do?
The Doctor: Sabotage. (Apparently, William Shatner pronounces this word "sabotaaj." Like the "a" sound it "cat" or "apple." What a
Intercom: Earth Death in ten minutes.
The Doctor: And the temperature's about to rocket. Come on.
Intercom: Earth Death in ten minutes.
Cassandra: The planet's end! Come gather, come gather! Bid farewell to the cradle of civilization! Let us mourn her with a traditional ballad.
"Toxic" by Britney Spears plays.
The Doctor: Alright, hold on, get back!
Intercom: Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising.
Jabe: Is the steward in there?
The Doctor: You can smell him. (Mmmm, delicious!) Hold on. There's another sun filter programmed to descend.
Intercom: Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending. (If these are so dangerous, why are they even installed on the platform?)
Rose: Let me out! Let me out!
Rose: Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!
Intercom: Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending.
The Doctor: Anyone in there?
Rose: Let me out!
The Doctor: Oh, well it would be you.
Rose: Open the door!
The Doctor: Hold on. Give us two ticks.
Intercom: Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending...Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising...Sun filter descending.
The Doctor: Just what we need. The computer's getting clever.
Rose: Stop mucking about!
The Doctor: I'm not mucking about, it's fighting back!
Intercom: Sun filter descending.
Rose: Open the door!
The Doctor: I know!
Intercom: Sun filter descending.
Rose: (She said something I seriously cannot understand. I listened five or six times. Nothing.)
Intercom: Sun filter descending. Sun filter descending...Sun filter rising. Sun filter rising.
The Doctor: The whole thing's jammed. I can't open the door. Stay there! Don't move!
Rose: Where am I gonna go? Ipswich?
Intercom: Earth Death in five minutes.
Jabe: The metal machine confirms: the spider devices have infiltrated the whole of Platform 1.
Cassandra: How's that possible? Our private rooms are protected by a code wall. Moisturize me, moisturize me...!
Moxx: Summon the steward!
Jabe: I'm afraid the steward is dead.
Moxx: Who killed him?
Cassandra: This whole event was sponsored by the Face of Boe. He invited us. Talk to the Face, talk to the Face!
The Doctor: Easy way of finding out. Someone brought a little pet on board. Let's send him back to master.
He nudges the spider. It stops at the feet of the ringwraiths.
Cassandra: The Adherence of the Repeated Meme! Shackles! (She either said "shackles" or "shacoon!" I'm thinking the former.)
The Doctor: That's all very well and really kind of obvious (indeed), but if you stop and think about it...He rips off one of their arms....a repeated meme is just an idea. (I'm glad he said that, because I actually didn't know what a meme was.) He tugs on a wire and one of them crumbles to the floor. And that's all they are, an idea. Remote control droids. Nice little cover for the real troublemaker. Go on, Jimbo. (Cute name for a spider.) Go home!
It goes over to Cassandra.
Cassandra: I bet you were the school swot (Swat?) who never got kissed. (So not true of his David Tennant form.) At arms!
The Doctor: What are you going to do, moisturize me? (Another point to the Doctor!)
Cassandra: With acid. Oh, you're too late anyway. My spiders have control of the mainframe. You all carried them as gifts tax free past every code wall. I'm not just a pretty face.
The Doctor: Sabotaging a ship while you're still inside it. How stupid's that?
Cassandra: I'd hoped to manufacture a hostage situation with myself as one of the victims. The compensation would have been enormous.
The Doctor: Five billion years and it still comes down to money.
Cassandra: Do you think it's cheap looking like this? Flatness costs a fortune. I am the last human, Doctor. Me. Not that freaky little kid of yours.
Moxx: Arrest her! The infidel!
Cassandra: Oh, shut it, pixie! I've still got my final option.
Intercom: Earth Death in three minutes.
Cassandra: And here it comes.
Intercom: Earth Death in three minutes.
Cassandra: You're just as useful dead, all of you. I have shares in your rival companies, and they'll triple in price as soon as you're dead. My spiders are primed and ready to destroy the safety systems. How does that old Earth song go? Burn, baby, burn.
Jabe: Then you'll burn with us!
Cassandra: Oh, I'm so sorry! I know the use of teleportation is strictly forbidden, but...I'm such a naughty thing! Spiders, activate! Force fields gone with the planet about to explode. At least it will be quick! Just like my fifth husband. (Can they say that on a family show?) Oh, shame on me! Buh-bye, darlings. Buh-bye my darlings!
Intercom: Safety systems failing. Safety systems failing.
She disappears.
Intercom: Heat levels rising.
Moxx: Reset the computer!
Jabe: Only the steward would know how.
The Doctor: No, we can do it by hand. There must be a system restore switch. Jabe, come on! You lot, just chill! (Have I mentioned the Doctor is awesome?)
Intercom: Heat levels rising. Earth Death in two minutes. Earth Death in two minutes. Heat levels critical. Heat levels critical.
The Doctor and Jabe arrive back in the giant fan room.
The Doctor: Oh. And guess where the switch is.
He pulls down a lever that stops the fans so he can cross their path. The lever pops back up.
Intercom: Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising...External temperature 5,000 degrees.
Jabe holds the lever down.
The Doctor: You can't. The heat's going to vent through this place!
Jabe: I know!
The Doctor: Jabe, you're made of wood.
Jabe: Then stop wasting time...Timelord. (YES!)
Intercom: Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising. Heat levels hazardous. Heat levels hazardous.
(Hey, if he knows Jabe might burn to death, why did he bring her with him?)
Moxx: We're going to die!
Intercom: Heat levels hazardous. Shields malfunctioning. Shields malfunctioning. Shields malfunctioning. Shields malfunctioning. Heat levels critical. Heat levels critical. Heat levels rising. Heat levels rising. Jabe has burst into flames. Planet explodes in 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...
The final fan in the Doctor's path is spinning wildly. He focuses for a long moment, then steps safely past the spinning blades. (I'm assuming he can feel them turning, like he can feel the turn of the earth.)
The Doctor: Raise shields!
Intercom: ...1. Exoglass repaired. Exoglass repaired. Exoglass repaired. Exoglass repaired.
The Doctor returns to the main room, as does Rose. He tells Jabe's fellow Trees that she is dead. One of them starts to sob. The Moxx of Balhoon is also dead. (I didn't catch the Moxx's death before now.)
Rose: You alright?
The Doctor: Yeah, I'm fine. I'm full of ideas. Bristling with them. Idea number one: Teleportation through 5,000 degrees needs some kind of feed. Idea number two: This feed must be hidden nearby. He cracks open the ostrich egg revealing an electronic device. Idea number three: If you're as clever as me, then a teleportation feed can be reversed.
(Alright, so I love the Doctor, but all he did was turn a little dial. It didn't seem all that clever.) Cassandra reappears.
Cassandra: Oh, you should have seen the little (something I didn't catch) on their faces. Oh.
The Doctor: The last human.
Cassandra: So. You passed my little test. Bravo. This makes you eligible to join th-th-the...Human Club.
The Doctor: People have died, Cassandra. You murdered them.
Cassandra: It depends on your definition of "people." And that's enough of a technicality to keep your lawyers dizzy for centuries. Take me to court then, Doctor, and watch me smile, and cry, and flutter...
The Doctor: And creak?
Cassandra: And what?
The Doctor: Creak! You're creaking.
The skin that is her body is tightening.
Cassandra: What? I-I-I'm drying out! Oh, sweet heavens! Moisturize me! Moisturize me! Oh, (something)! My lovely boys! (Poise?) It's too hot!
The Doctor: You raised the temperature.
Cassandra: Have pity! Moisturize me! Oh, Doctor! Oh, no, Doctor...!
Rose: Help her.
The Doctor: Everything has its time, and everything dies.
Cassandra: I'm...too...young...! She pops and explodes into bits. (This is gruesome and funny.)
Intercom: Shuttles four and six departing. This unit now closing down for maintenance.
Rose and the Doctor are on the observation deck.
Rose: The end of the earth...it's gone. We were too busy saving ourselves. No one saw it go. All those years, all that history, and no one was even looking. It's just...
The Doctor takes her by the hand.
The Doctor: Come with me....
(That was a nice moment for them.)
They exit the Tardis. They are back on Earth in present day.
The Doctor: You think it'll last forever. The people, the cars, and concrete. But it won't. One day it's all gone. Even the sky...My planet's gone. (!) It's dead. It burned like the earth. It's just rocks and dust. Before its time.
Rose: What happened?
The Doctor: There was a war, and we lost.
Rose: A war with who? He doesn't answer. What about your people?
The Doctor: I'm a Timelord. I'm the last of the Timelords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own 'cause there's no one else.
(You can really feel how lonely and sad and miserable he is. It's painful.)
Rose: There's me. (Aw.)
The Doctor: You've seen how dangerous it is. Do you want to go home?
Rose: I don't know. I want...can you smell chips?
The Doctor: Yeah...yeah!
Rose: I want chips.
The Doctor: Me too.
Rose: Right then. Before you get me back in that box, chips it is and you can pay.
The Doctor: No money.
Rose: What sort of date are you? Come on then, tight wad, chips are on me. I've only got five billion years til the shops close.
They walk off hand in hand.
The end.
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